What Is Techno Again?

Game Over: Video Games on the Silver Screen

I really heart Spawn Kill. It’s bursting with video game action of every flavor, and it has a team of writers to its name who work hard and help make it such a thriving website and community. So I’m always giddy when they let me submit articles and get away with posting them as features. No, really. They spoil the crap out of me.

My latest read for them entertains the idea of why video game movies suck more often than not, and it mulls over possible causes and how they could be fixed … or at least bandaged to stop the massive bleeding. You get the idea, right? Make my day and check out the article by following this link into the depths of the interwebz (okay, I’m being dramatic, but today’s been an awesome day).

Video game based movies drag around an embarrassing history with a charm akin to a rotting corpse that was left in the sun, and frankly it’s not all that surprising. Some things own too much baggage to survive the transfer from medium to medium without dropping a few key items here and there, and oftentimes what does worm its way through the wreckage resembles a hideous mutant spawn that can barely manage intelligent human speech let alone impress anyone as some lovable lost puppy. Not much else needs to be said: Video game films are practically doomed from the start screen, much to the frustration of hundreds of controller-wielding fans.

But why do video games suffer from such a notorious reputation? Is it a crummy budget, bad casting, or just a bad batch of filmmakers and so-called creative minds? Maybe. But we all know that there’s too many awful video game movies out there to blame it on a handful of random factors. Books seem to revel in the highest adaptation success rate, with comics close behind and gaining speed fast. So is it just the medium? Video games aren’t always known for stellar storytelling, but die-hard fans are eager and willing to take up arms to defend their beloved games that, well … don’t suck.

Tags: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Spawn Kill
Posted in Features, Gaming, Movies/TV, Spawn Kill, Writing | No Comments »

Lame Tagline, but a Trailer to Turn Back Time

I adore the Prince of Persia games, so when talk comes to a movie adaptation, I whip out the armor and flaming swords and prepare to kick some ass. I can’t help being a defender of things I love—from superheroes to pixelated anti-heroes, I don the metaphorical warpaint when I learn that my beloved characters and mediums are being abused.

Okay, I didn’t hold my breath when I heard they were making a film based on The Sands of Time … and then died a little inside when I discovered they were making a terribly awkward casting choice: Jake Gyllenhaal as the darkly handsome and rebellious Prince.

Although imagining Gyllenhaal with shoulder-length hair, a serious demeanor in warrior armor, and general scruffiness tends to send me into fits of giggles, I have to admit that under that fangirl cloud (no, myself not included in the audience distortion of what is actually a respectable short story) of Brokeback Mountain, Gyllenhaal can actually be a worthy actor. After all, I fell in love with him in Donnie Darko—before the inevitable campfire-themed fan-fictions started cropping up on the interwebz.

So when I watched the freshly released trailer today, my expectations of cheesiness were grated with each passing frame. It actually impressed me … a lot. With the aid of the Disney and Bruckheimer powers that shaped the successful Pirates of the Caribbean movies, this thing can actually change the scene for video game-based flicks—if, of course, it’s as good as it looks. And man, I’m drooling already. But before you point out the Disney part of that prior sentence, keep in mind that the marketing and talent of Disney doesn’t mean they’re going to rip to shreds the spirit of the source. There have been good, and dark, Disney movies, and Sands of Time bears a PG-13 rating—not bad considering the video game installment by the same name is the most lighthearted, yet arguably the best, of the trilogy.

Tags: Bruckheimer, Disney, Jake Gyllenhaal, Mike Newell, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Posted in Movies/TV | 1 Comment »