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PC Review: Plants Vs. Zombies

I’ve never been much of a PC gamer, even though my first video game experiences involved Wolfenstein 3D and a desultory Sherlock Holmes game. But thanks to the generous PopCap folk, I hunkered down with Plants Vs. Zombies, which had already caught my eye, and played to my heart’s content. And luckily PVZ serves an all-you-can-grow veggie buffet. Check out the review at OneMetal.com

Grab a rake and plant yourself in front of PopCap’s most recent tower defense game that sprawls bloom and doom … on your lawn. Plants Vs. Zombies challenges your green thumb and hones your zombie extermination skills. Players harvest sunflower power and command an earth-friendly army, saving your house one recycled undead at a time. These plants pack quite a head chop, and thankfully the game’s foundation holds just as well—rain, shine, or zombie..

Tags: iPhone OS, Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, OneMetal, Plants Vs. Zombies, PopCap, Week of 2/8/10, Xbox Live Arcade
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PS3 Review: Mini Ninjas

Appealing to the stealthy ninja wannabe in all of us, Mini Ninjas sculpts eye-popping animation, cutesy forest animals, and all-ages entertainment into one package. Of course, more cynical gamers know that flowery aesthetics don’t equate to full genius, and even the stealthiest of heroes can’t ensure a mighty punch. Well, rest assured, because Mini Ninjas infuses all of its ancient samurai muscle into a presentation as reliable as bamboo-chomping pandas … predictable, mind-numbing pandas.

Mini Ninjas markets as a game satisfying to both children and adults, and the influence leaves a clear trail throughout the game’s entirety. The difficulty setting can be adjusted with one quick trip to the options menu, and even your enviable Kuji magic integrates various hint methods for when you get stuck chasing fireflies and picking tiger lilies. Luckily, there’s a lot to admire about such a feel-good game that doesn’t hesitate to pull at the heartstrings. As you zip through mesmerizing, gorgeous painted environments, you’ll relax with soothing music one moment and then glide into unleashing your fearsome ninja moves the next. Along with the user-friendly controls and activity pallet, the result feels virtually therapeutic—certainly advantageous when you need to unwind after a long day.

Regardless of the many hints sprinkled about, Mini Ninjas shows you the courtesy of free-style gameplay. You follow a basically linear course, but gamers are encouraged to meddle with different scenario approaches and take-down methods. The six ninjas at your beck and call each bring a distinguished technique to the array of challenges, and some are better suited to the present situation than others. Everything stacks together neatly; each level’s finish totals your score of freed animals, compiled potion ingredients and scrolls, special gold tokens, and Jizo statues and allows you to replay sections at more convenient times. The weaponry and equipment at your disposal wield impressive versatility, as well. Your ninja hat, for example, acts as a boat, snow sled, and overall protection against flying arrows and falling debris.

But behind the smoke and mirrors parlor tricks essential to the ninja trade, a handful of flaws rear their ugly heads. Mini Ninjas strays from its own beaten path disappointingly little. Eventually you’ll tire from gathering dainty plants, decking silly mini (or in some cases, giant) enemies, and breaking probably expensive pots. The commonplace hunt-and-gather missions render the more carefully hidden treasures into cheap yard sale trinkets. When the game does veer towards something new, it either fails sorely or taunts you with a fresh taste of ephemeral action. The avalanche aka sledding sequence nudges excitement with a stick, but the technical frustration nips any possible thrills before they can flourish.

Mini Ninjas sustains quite a few odd yet minor bugs concerning maneuverability and functionality, including rotating your makeshift boat and aligning your character with the ropes spanning buildings. Plus, although enemies gradually advance in more ambitious and trying waves, you’ll practically be swimming in health and other replenishing items; even in the toughest battles, deaths are few and far between. Despite all that extra magic and commodity, your supposedly convenient Ki wheel never expands slot-wise, forcing you to rummage through your inventory menu instead.

Mini Ninjas delivers better as a rental: It has an innovative concept and inspiring visuals, but replay value and entertainment rewards simmer down after several hours. Character extras delightfully tell the ninjas’ origins, but the in-game storyline could have benefited from such charming personality. Like the breathtaking world, the dominating features might be superficially breathtaking, but the qualities underneath lose their polish, sucking the mystery out of the ninja heart. 7/10

Tags: Eidos Interactive, IO Interactive, Microsoft Windows, Nintendo DS, PlayStation 3, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, Wii, Xbox 360
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Spawn Kill Favorites: Bioshock

This February promises the highly-anticipated sequel to the action-adventure RPG with a dash of horror, Bioshock. But what was so great about the first game’s underwater dystopia, you ask? Hop on over to Spawn Kill and check out my review, which went live yesterday (hooray!).

Few video games arouse genuine nirvana in players, but even less promise a blossoming underwater world only to swallow gamers whole and leave them wanting more wretched decay, both lovely and sanguine. BioShock is one such praised gem, and experiencing the game without feeling like the developers literally poured their souls into its creation is virtually impossible. Indeed, BioShock at its very core flourishes as a polished experience, and quite a mighty one at that.

Tags: 2K Games, BioShock, Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, Spawn Kill, Week of 1/11/10, Xbox 360
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PS3 Review: Assassin’s Creed II

However innovative Assassin’s Creed was, it ultimately failed to shine. Plagued by flaws and repetitious action, many tossed the box aside before even reaching the supposed grand finale. The sequel promised to remedy those problems, and thankfully the developers built a much steadier foundation this time around.

Assassin’s Creed II still follows the same brittle formula as its predecessor: The player enters the ancestral link of the Animus; assassinates a bunch of targets, each more fallible than the last (more now, so half of Italy); explores cities while avoiding Templar guards. But besides offering countless missions and puzzles, there’s one thing AC2 delivers that the first game dismissed. If you guessed character interaction as rich as Italian nobles, then consider yourself savvy. Regardless of whether or not you favor Desmond or even Ezio Auditore, the oblivious but handsome protagonist of Renaissance Italy, there are dozens of other characters to gush over (or loathe)—including the humorous Leonardo da Vinci. Even voice work impresses alongside the intriguing musical score. Assassin’s Creed II incorporates all its historical research by allowing you to access said information when encountered. The result? A mind-blowing world as interactive and thriving as the 15th-century.

The developers clearly paid attention to the blunders of AC—you don’t travel back and forth between cities nearly as often, for example—but they made a few errors of their own. The game’s “puppet controls” are euphemistic QTAs, and they’re just as annoying and randomly placed. Although an indicator pops up as a signal, you’ll probably be reading those wonderful Italian translations instead.

Thanks to the wealth of missions and weaponry consciously livened by fresh scenarios, gameplay rarely feels dull and readily connects with not only Ezio’s story, but Desmond’s and Altair’s. While scaling buildings for viewpoints remains intact, Ezio can reach higher ledges after learning a certain technique. With vendors scattered about cities, you can beef up Ezio with armor, health supplies, weapons, and even ammunition like smoke bombs. The several factions (NPCs) at your disposal, though sometimes vexatious, are surprisingly efficient and minimally glitch-impaired. Mercenaries, courtesans, and thieves will allow you to advance unscathed and make your pocket delightfully weightier. Money isn’t hard to come by—but equally as easy to spend.

Hunting eagle feathers might be as boring as hording flags, but at least there’s a manageable number and treasure at the finish line. Even simple tasks like blending and stealing are more intelligently designed, as are assassination techniques. Plus, this assassin can swim. Finally.

There are troublesome areas, though. Earning money is good and well until you have to return to a single location to retrieve it; tearing yourself away from your current activity to collect interest just doesn’t appeal. Whereas you always know where your money is and wish it were closer to your Italian destinations, navigating your map can be a clueless experience. Showing which way Ezio faces at any moment could have easily resolved such open-world woe. Not to mention frequent and sluggish load screens add to the headache.

Once child’s play, combat demonstrates a vast improvement from the series’ trial run. Countering won’t always do the trick in battle; some guards are outfitted with superior armor and weapons, making disarming and executing a satisfying feat. Although fights don’t always flow smoothly, with a convenient weapon wheel boasting a versatile selection of items, you can turn combat from a mundane hindrance to an exciting chance to show off your moves.

Bottom line, Assassin’s Creed II is one of the most playable, entertaining, and visually stunning games of the year. Not everything sparkles the way it should, but the incredible historically detailed environments, engaging character stories, and meticulous improvements to the sins of the old provide a sensory overload of quality. As for the ending, you might cringe a little at the overused danger it implies. Let’s just say we might look for Assassin’s Creed III come 2012. 9/10

Tags: Assassin's Creed II, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 2, Ubisoft, Xbox 360
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PS2 Review: Silent Hill 4: The Room

Wake up, Henry. Clever fans will note the connections between the fourth game and previous installments: from the significance of the superintendent Frank Sunderland’s name to the mysterious “There was a HOLE here; it’s gone now” in SH2 and the repeated mentions of a certain murderer throughout the series. Wonder no more, because Silent Hill 4: The Room means to unravel the truth—whether you like it or not.

What You’ll Like

21 Ways to Die

Henry Townshend finds himself inexplicably locked in his apartment for five days. The windows won’t open, nobody on the outside can hear him when he yells, and somebody’s chained his door from the inside along with the friendly note, “Don’t go out — Walter.” When a strange hole forms in his bathroom wall, that’s when the nightmare really begins.

Your apartment, haunting-free. You live on wine and chocolate milk, apparently.

“Walter” turns out to be the name of a deranged serial killer named Walter Sullivan, who believes he can resurrect his “mother” by carrying out the ritual of the 21 Sacraments—which consists of twenty-one separate murders, including his own suicide. Henry crawls through the hole in his apartment to different Otherworlds, where he meets the last of Walter’s to-be victims; he can do nothing to keep Walter from killing them and ensuring their deaths in the real world, as well. Soon he and his neighbor, Eileen Galvin, are the only two intended victims still living.

While the characters aren’t developed much due to their, erm, untimely deaths, the story itself plays out in a unique and incredibly chilling manner. You’ll be dragged down into the abyss with Henry—especially once your apartment no longer acts as a sanctuary, instead susceptible to various types of deadly haunting. The Room specializes in a genuine feeling of suffocation and growing isolation: People are dying around you, and no one outside your room can hear your cries. On top of that, you’re left with a frighteningly nonexistent sense of control. Henry becomes an unwilling servant to the 21 Sacraments, forced to stop an immortal Walter from completing the ritual. Ghosts can’t be killed, only warded away or stopped; half the time you have no idea where the Otherworld holes are going to take you next; your apartment and soon the entire building becomes a hell, whose limits Walter eventually breaches. No place is safe, and the game you thought you were playing starts taking on an entirely different set of rules.

Lose the Black, Keep the Trenchcoat

As far as villains go, Walter Sullivan succeeds at freaking me the hell out—and he completely takes advantage of that fact. With a blood-stained, terrifying visage and an intimidating demeanor, Walter lives up to his serial killer name. The first time you meet you practically run into him on the stairs, and before you can even think to run away, he starts having a pleasant conversation with you. Of course, he actually intends to trick you by giving you a cursed item. From the beginning, Walter toys with you, knowing he’s saving you for last. From the hospital scene to the forest chase, Walter’s actions are horrifyingly unpredictable … and wonderfully so.

This washed out picture really doesn't do Walter justice. I'll be over there, crying.

The Cut-Out Heart of Interior Decorating

The Room boasts detailed, grotesque environments completely aware of their place. Your apartment feels bland, like all crappy apartments are—at least until hauntings begin to adorn it with bloodied chairs, faces in the wall, and children’s shadows in your closet. Regardless of evil spirits, each time you return to room 302, there’s something new to be discovered—whether it’s red diary pages from the resident before you tucked neatly under your door or Walter stalking you through your door’s peephole.

And of course, Akira Yamaoka provides an always excellent score; strengthened with vocals by Joe Romersa, the soundtrack wields some of the best vocal songs in the series.

What You Won’t Like

Next Time Bring the Chocolate Milk

The concept of traveling through holes to other dimensions—which reveal the secrets of the cult-run Wish House where Walter grew up—plays out well until you’re burdened by inconvenience. Silent Hill 4 bears the shame of being the only game in the series with a limited inventory system and no means of discarding, which means you’ll have to make frequent and annoying trips back to your room and dig through its storage box in order to progress. Combat suffers from cumbersome execution, as well. Although the dodge and charge features are helpful, there’s no way to efficiently switch between targets.

Monkey see, monkey do. Enemies aren't too difficult once you know their mannerisms.

Having virtually no control over your situation makes for a captivating story, but not when it comes to gameplay. You’re given practically no guidance as to why collecting saint medallions and saving loads of health are important measures to take for later in the game, which can lead to a decent dose of frustration.

And speaking of that, Eileen might be that caring and self-conscious girl next door you never get the chance to ask out since you’re, oh yeah, trapped in your room thanks to a madman, but she quickly becomes one of the worst examples of escort missions. She’s injured to begin with, and her limp and clingy nature means constantly making sure she’s close enough to follow you through doors. This quickly becomes irritating due to the growing presence of ghosts and Walter, who turns aggressive in the latter half of the game. Plus, Eileen can’t drop down holes or use ladders, so you’ll have to find a different way to move from Otherworld to Otherworld. However, she can be surprisingly advantageous a fight, and needs much less healing than Henry.

Hurry, Henry!

The pieces slowly come together in the first half of the game, but the second chunk with Eileen focuses too much on cramming story and gameplay into several hours’ time. Returning to your apartment won’t heal you; although the interaction between the Otherworlds and your apartment—like it’s being contaminated by Walter’s reality—makes the game more interesting, the hauntings don’t really start until the second half. You’ll want to hunt down every holy candle you can, because later each visit back to your apartment means another haunting to clean up before the situation worsens.

Ghosts will give Henry (and you) a sizable headache.

Not to mention you can almost zip through the Otherworlds revisited, whose maps are significantly less extensive the second time. Compared to previous Silent Hill games when the sirens take over, the change here feels more than a little lacking.

Silent … Mountain?

The game begins in South Ashfield Heights and takes you to Otherworlds near your apartment—the subway, St. Jerome Hospital, etc. Silent Hill has little do with it, including the style. Ghosts have never had prominence in the series, and the absence of boss battles causes the game stray from the usual, too. I’m an advocate of giving series titles the room (no pun intended) to evolve, but not when it comes to wandering away from its spirit (again with the puns) entirely. The Room probably would have been better off if it had been released as a separate game altogether. At least the voice-acting is decent … except for the emotionally stunted yet handsome Henry and his hilariously emo way of dying.

Recommendation:

While I enjoyed The Room, it wasn’t until my second play-through that I truly warmed up to the game. It barely holds on to the name Silent Hill, for gone is the flashlight and sirens, heavy shadows, and psychological torment. As far as horror goes, SH4 does a decent job, yet perhaps not on the level of the series’ previous titles. For a game that only requires around ten or eleven hours depending on whether or not you know what you’re doing, a more even pace for the latter half would have done a world of good. Even though flaws in execution bring Silent Hill 4: The Room down a notch or two, the overall experience is still impressively worth the, well … sacrifice. 8/10

Handsome Haunted Henry.

Review format credited to the Girls Entertainment Network

Tags: Konami, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 2, Silent Hill, Team Silent, that isn't eyeshadow she's sporting, that or she was going to slut it up at that party, that outfit tells me yes, The Room, Xbox
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PS2 Review: Silent Hill 3

Welcome to the Order. Drop your shopping bags at the door and finish that Happy Burger, because you’re in for hours of religious chatter, bloody carousel rides, and enemies far from cutesy rabbits that are sure to make you lose your appetite. Even Robbie the Rabbit doesn’t smell of cotton candy.

What You’ll Like

Riddle Me This, Heather

Meet Heather, the first female protagonist in the Silent Hill series. She’s also the daughter of Harry Mason, the first unfortunate soul to wander into the black heart of the evil town of Silent Hill. The story throws her into her own demented world of evil malls, bleeding rooms and twisted mirror reflections, and demon gods. With an inevitable connection to Silent Hill that prevents her from returning home safely and escaping the nightmare haunting her, Heather’s fearsome experience falls in line with the series’ past expressions of darkness and torment.

James Sunderland is around here somewhere.

Puzzles are a staple of that torture, and Silent Hill 3 readies a decent horde of them for you to solve. They’re mind-bending and involve annoying amounts of numbers and word play, like all good puzzles should, and they’re not ridiculous enough to cause you to run to GameFAQs crying in shame. Like the good old days, you’ll probably need to whip out a piece of paper and a pen, so keep some handy.

Remember to Accessorize

What teenage girl would be her best without a few accessories? Thankfully, Silent Hill 3 comes bolstered by some nice features. Akira Yamaoka and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn join forces again for one of the best SH OSTs in the series. At the end of the game, you’ll be able to view an extensive list of stats to see how you well you’ve ranked overall and in specific areas—from boss fights to item hunting. Plus, due to the catalog of difficulty modes, a wealth of extras awaits you if you feel inclined to relive the adventure.

What You Won’t Like

Roll Credits, Already

Unfortunately, the third installment offers one of the worst and underdeveloped stories in the series. Basically a continuation of Harry Mason’s experience and run-in with the town’s religious cult, this time the Order’s “salvation” rests with Heather, the (spoilers) reincarnation of Alessa from SH1. Those who haven’t played the first game will undoubtedly be confused by the significance of the plot, which acts as more of a conclusive extension than a stand-alone romp through the monster-infested Silent Hill.

Many of us can relate to this boring and large, empty mall.

The game only requires roughly half a dozen hours to complete, and even less than that if you know what you’re doing. Certain unnecessary factors are to blame for the game even lasting that long; one of them being the frequent, repetitive cut-scenes with which you’re bombarded. With only four characters—and only two of them boasting any personality that you won’t absolutely loathe—and little fresh material to work with, most of the time they end up rambling on and on about the same things. Think of how many different ways you could talk about god in a religious cult context, then throw in a little extra baggage, and you’ll have a good idea of the flow of SH3’s story.

Not to mention three of the characters are presented with opportunity after opportunity to give their mutual enemy the bullet, but inexplicably none of them seize it. It takes an injured and lousy detective, a dagger in the back (and heart), a lifetime’s worth of trauma, and the birth of a god to finally shut her mouth.

Talk to the Hand

When you’re not running around clueless to what you should be doing, or collecting random “key” items because somebody’s been watching too much MacGyver, you’re running around clueless while evading enemies like they’ve got cooties. Most of the time you’ll end up simply bypassing the easily distracted monsters, which can usually be accomplished without too much trouble granted you keep moving and you’re not exploring a cramped space.

The hospital staff are always complaining about Heather's messes.

Actually trying to navigate like a normal person can be a challenge, though. The game’s control system—which uses one analog stick to move and the awkward choice of a shoulder button to readjust the camera—could definitely use work, but at least Heather can block attacks and thus reduce the damage taken. On the offensive side, though, you’ll have to work with a shoddy aim at best.

Pick a Weapon, Any Weapon

Even without the unlockable, special weapons, Heather can beat, slice, barrel, and fry her way through masses of foes with a large arsenal at her disposal. However, most of them are completely useless, even as a last resort. Once you find the katana, you’ll never feel the need to use anything else unless you’re up against a boss—and even then the blade has its advantages.

Recommendation:

If you’re looking for a Silent Hill game to play, unless you’re a diehard fan and veteran player, Silent Hill 3 shouldn’t be your first choice. On top of the slow and torturous cut-scenes, the constant array of in-game music that eventually ceases to sound intimidating, and the severely frustrating gameplay (and Slurpers, damnit) that continuously forces you to backtrack, the game adds up to something more trouble than its worth. It might tempt with a few strongpoints—especially when it comes to its almost suffocating sense of dread and the genuine, subtle scares trademark to the series—but when you take a closer look and detangle the mess, you’ll start to question if there’s really anything there at all besides a squirming, demonic blob thing you hacked up and then watched somebody else swallow. 6.5/10

The following scene makes no sense out-of-context and is therefore hilarious. Enjoy.

“Sorry, I ate some bad game.”

Review format credited to the Girls Entertainment Network

Tags: Konami, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 2, Silent Hill, Team Silent
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