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Reminiscing with a Couple of Grenades and Majinis: New Resident Evil 5 DLC Reviewed

Want more Resident Evil 5 content? Unless you plan on diving into co-op mode, I couldn’t possibly understand why, but hey, more power to you. Just don’t let the year that flew past us distract you from the game’s original flaws, because they stick to the two DLCs recently released.

Find out what “Lost in Nightmares” and “Desperate Escape” have to offer in this RadNerd review.

Hey, remember the days when Chris Redfield and his sassy BSAA partner, Sheva Alomar, crunched those mean ol’ Majinis side by side? I can still smell the blood rusting on the chainsaws, feel the Reapers using my guts as Play-Doh, and hear Sheva’s incessant nonsense about needing more ammo. Not to mention all the cheesy love and hugs (and, erm, Wesker drama) that hitched a ride with frustrating QTAs hogging the steering wheel. My brain can replay all that action as if it were yesterday … maybe because it practically was yesterday. Okay, a year does not equate to the concept known as “yesterday,” but Resident Evil 5 is managing against any non-masochistic odds to surf its fairly sized, “racist” wave of cheap tricks. I mean, did we all just forget how much the AI’s moronic antics bothered us or how much misery the final boss sequence caused us? Oohh, yes. Now the pain smacks you in the face.

Tags: Desperate Escape, DLC, Lost in Nightmares, PlayStation 3, RadNerd, Resident Evil 5, Xbox 360
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The Crazies

Want to plunk down the cash for a good movie this weekend? The Crazies won’t steer you wrong. Just, uh … don’t drink the water. Check out the review at OneMetal.com.

Breck Eisner’s name occupies only a handful of film credits and claims even fewer directorial spots. The Crazies, a remake of the George Romero 1973 original, accelerates the rookie filmmaker into a potentially household name.

Welcome to Ogden March, where the Iowan fields reap plenty and infected water turns the kindly townsfolk into violent psychopaths who like to hum a creepy tune. Sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant) and his pregnant wife, Judy (Radha Mitchell), escape government quarantine and regroup with Deputy Russell Clank (Joe Anderson) and the teenage Becca Darling (Danielle Panabaker). They fend off “crazies” and elude gas mask-donning soldiers while piecing together the rampant disease’s origins and nailing down an escape route. But not everyone ducks the infection … or the accompanying paranoia.

Tags: Breck Eisner, Danielle Panabaker, George Romero, Joe Anderson, OneMetal, Overture Films, Radha Mitchell, The Crazies, Timothy Olyphant
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The Wolfman

The Wolfman released just when I was in the right mood for a werewolf flick. My money didn’t go to complete waste; in fact, I would actually stamp the movie as enjoyable. I do not, however, like my films stuffed with moronic romance.

Universal Pictures’ The Wolfman, starring the likes of Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving, reboots the 1941 horror flick. Joe Johnston directs a remake dripping with wolfishly good action. Too bad the movie stutters over beastly romance that perfectly complements your sugary Valentine’s Day memories.

I craned my neck to absorb the breadth of the movie screen—an inconvenience that opening day’s limited seating and lonely front row availability guaranteed—and as I watched the rushing colors and headache-inducing action that made my eyes cross, I couldn’t help but smile just as much as I cringed. Despite whether you’ve witnessed the original film, 2010’s The Wolfman splays like a guts-and-brains mess. Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro), whose brother Ben recently tangled with a fabled werewolf creature and wound up dead and gross, returns to his home estate where his aloof father, Sir John (Anthony Hopkins), resides. Ben’s widow and beast whisperer, Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt), returns from London and mournfully gathers her late husband’s effects, but when Lawrence announces his oath to avenge his brother’s demise by seeking whatever or whoever went Picasso with his innards, she sticks around, apparently.

Read the rest at OneMetal.

Tags: Anthony Hopkins, Benicio Del Toro, Danny Elfman, Emily Blunt, Hugo Weaving, John Johnston, OneMetal, Relativity Media, The Wolfman, Universal Pictures
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PSP Review: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

Hooray! It’s been half a year since my demo and Konami interview at San Diego Comic-Con, but I finally sat down to play Shattered Memories. So … did I enjoy it? Well, that’s a tricky number. The game is quite a mixed bag of good and bad, but ultimately one lone feature redeemed the entire game for me. Find out what over at OneMetal.

Silent Hill has dramatically evolved since the original game, presently a decade behind us. Now Shattered Memories lifts the ashes and exchanges the rust-colored decor for a colder touch. Put down the chainsaw and stop running—the latest installment dares you to revisit the classic town and remember everything you, and Harry Mason, tried to forget.

Shattered Memories logs a relatively short length, and the gameplay and story elements are profoundly redesigned. In fact, fans will recognize the changes before they even start pressing buttons. The game invents more personality for characters, polishes familiar locations with fresh attributes, and incorporates the depth absent in the first run-around. Borrowing the first-person technique utilized in The Room, the psychologist sessions allow the game to profile you by translating various exercises, like coloring a picture or answering intimate questions, into Harry’s adventure. The characters and locations might remain, but this isn’t the game you remember. Shattered Memories molds to your unique personality and develops a new and engaging spin on an old story.

Tags: Climax Group, Konami, OneMetal, PlayStation 2, PSP, Shattered Memories, Silent Hill, Wii
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PC Review: Plants Vs. Zombies

I’ve never been much of a PC gamer, even though my first video game experiences involved Wolfenstein 3D and a desultory Sherlock Holmes game. But thanks to the generous PopCap folk, I hunkered down with Plants Vs. Zombies, which had already caught my eye, and played to my heart’s content. And luckily PVZ serves an all-you-can-grow veggie buffet. Check out the review at OneMetal.com

Grab a rake and plant yourself in front of PopCap’s most recent tower defense game that sprawls bloom and doom … on your lawn. Plants Vs. Zombies challenges your green thumb and hones your zombie extermination skills. Players harvest sunflower power and command an earth-friendly army, saving your house one recycled undead at a time. These plants pack quite a head chop, and thankfully the game’s foundation holds just as well—rain, shine, or zombie..

Tags: iPhone OS, Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, OneMetal, Plants Vs. Zombies, PopCap, Xbox Live Arcade
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Spawn Kill Favorites: Silent Hill

Oh, Silent Hill, how I adore you. Thanks to the PlayStation Network’s inclusion, I recently revisited the PSOne classic on my PSP. So despite the voice-acting that makes soap operas sound like Shakespearian language, what distinguishes Harry Mason’s experience and keeps the aging title memorable? Find out at Spawn Kill.

One decade ago, Konami left a neoteric imprint on the survival horror genre with Silent Hill, a video game that would inspire a number of future titles, a movie, and several books and comics. But Harry Mason’s investigation into the fog-covered town and its strange occurrences accomplished more than just a household name among the likes ofResident Evil. The heart-pounding adrenaline rush introduced gamers to a nightmare founded on psychological Japanese horror and an equally unnerving musical score by composer Akira Yamaoka.

Tags: Konami, PlayStation, Silent Hill, Spawn Kill, Team Silent
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PS3 Review: Mini Ninjas

Appealing to the stealthy ninja wannabe in all of us, Mini Ninjas sculpts eye-popping animation, cutesy forest animals, and all-ages entertainment into one package. Of course, more cynical gamers know that flowery aesthetics don’t equate to full genius, and even the stealthiest of heroes can’t ensure a mighty punch. Well, rest assured, because Mini Ninjas infuses all of its ancient samurai muscle into a presentation as reliable as bamboo-chomping pandas … predictable, mind-numbing pandas.

Mini Ninjas markets as a game satisfying to both children and adults, and the influence leaves a clear trail throughout the game’s entirety. The difficulty setting can be adjusted with one quick trip to the options menu, and even your enviable Kuji magic integrates various hint methods for when you get stuck chasing fireflies and picking tiger lilies. Luckily, there’s a lot to admire about such a feel-good game that doesn’t hesitate to pull at the heartstrings. As you zip through mesmerizing, gorgeous painted environments, you’ll relax with soothing music one moment and then glide into unleashing your fearsome ninja moves the next. Along with the user-friendly controls and activity pallet, the result feels virtually therapeutic—certainly advantageous when you need to unwind after a long day.

Regardless of the many hints sprinkled about, Mini Ninjas shows you the courtesy of free-style gameplay. You follow a basically linear course, but gamers are encouraged to meddle with different scenario approaches and take-down methods. The six ninjas at your beck and call each bring a distinguished technique to the array of challenges, and some are better suited to the present situation than others. Everything stacks together neatly; each level’s finish totals your score of freed animals, compiled potion ingredients and scrolls, special gold tokens, and Jizo statues and allows you to replay sections at more convenient times. The weaponry and equipment at your disposal wield impressive versatility, as well. Your ninja hat, for example, acts as a boat, snow sled, and overall protection against flying arrows and falling debris.

But behind the smoke and mirrors parlor tricks essential to the ninja trade, a handful of flaws rear their ugly heads. Mini Ninjas strays from its own beaten path disappointingly little. Eventually you’ll tire from gathering dainty plants, decking silly mini (or in some cases, giant) enemies, and breaking probably expensive pots. The commonplace hunt-and-gather missions render the more carefully hidden treasures into cheap yard sale trinkets. When the game does veer towards something new, it either fails sorely or taunts you with a fresh taste of ephemeral action. The avalanche aka sledding sequence nudges excitement with a stick, but the technical frustration nips any possible thrills before they can flourish.

Mini Ninjas sustains quite a few odd yet minor bugs concerning maneuverability and functionality, including rotating your makeshift boat and aligning your character with the ropes spanning buildings. Plus, although enemies gradually advance in more ambitious and trying waves, you’ll practically be swimming in health and other replenishing items; even in the toughest battles, deaths are few and far between. Despite all that extra magic and commodity, your supposedly convenient Ki wheel never expands slot-wise, forcing you to rummage through your inventory menu instead.

Mini Ninjas delivers better as a rental: It has an innovative concept and inspiring visuals, but replay value and entertainment rewards simmer down after several hours. Character extras delightfully tell the ninjas’ origins, but the in-game storyline could have benefited from such charming personality. Like the breathtaking world, the dominating features might be superficially breathtaking, but the qualities underneath lose their polish, sucking the mystery out of the ninja heart. 7/10

Tags: Eidos Interactive, IO Interactive, Microsoft Windows, Nintendo DS, PlayStation 3, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, Wii, Xbox 360
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Spawn Kill Favorites: Bioshock

This February promises the highly-anticipated sequel to the action-adventure RPG with a dash of horror, Bioshock. But what was so great about the first game’s underwater dystopia, you ask? Hop on over to Spawn Kill and check out my review, which went live yesterday (hooray!).

Few video games arouse genuine nirvana in players, but even less promise a blossoming underwater world only to swallow gamers whole and leave them wanting more wretched decay, both lovely and sanguine. BioShock is one such praised gem, and experiencing the game without feeling like the developers literally poured their souls into its creation is virtually impossible. Indeed, BioShock at its very core flourishes as a polished experience, and quite a mighty one at that.

Tags: 2K Games, BioShock, Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, Spawn Kill, Xbox 360
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